hello friends...long time no see :) hmmm, where to start this one? how about
here! there is a show going on right now at the Chicago Historical Society
www.chicagohs.org about the infamous Leopold and Loeb case, and the
museum was nice enough to ask me to be a part of it because of my song "Bobby
Franks"...so if you get a chance, check out the show...i went to the preview and
they have some incredible photos and ephemera from the case...my deal is towards
the back, where you can see a performance of the song from the last concert at
the Metro...things are going fantastic here in the studio, and in the most vague
terms i am excited and look forward to finishing in the near future...besides
all that, life is good, summer is here, and i hope everyone feels peaceful in
their hearts at this chaotic time in the world...i would like to take a moment
to explain a few things that have been on my mind, so here goes...(more...)
i have debated
about whether i should share these feelings at all, but i think it is better to
share them than not...first, i would like to say thank you one more time to all
the wonderful people who came to the recording sessions in april and the show at
the metro...i wanted to write that immediately after those experiences, but
quite frankly i couldn't, i just didn't have the strength...that is hard for me
to say, because the feeling just crept up on me and has only recently left
me...after that week, i felt as if my skin had been stripped off, and it was not
a good feeling at all...i questioned a lot of things, whether i should have done
it all, or made myself so open, or as usual, did i say too much? the answer of
course is NO, because i believe in what i do and what i am doing, even if i
occasionally fail...that is not to say that i think the recording sessions, the
show, or the postings on ken wilber's website were failures...actually, i would
rate them as great moments, and i am grateful for the opportunity to communicate
and that, in my eyes, i rose to the challenge...i am proud i am living my dreams in a very real way :)
that said, it took way too much out of me, and i wasn't
prepared for the emotional fallout of so much output...there was no band to run
to, no next show, no tour to get lost in...literally the next day i was back in
here working on this album, this beautiful poem to God and life and flowers and
bumblebeez...in essence, what i'm trying to say is that at this point there
exists an inherent conflict between my work and my "public" life...there is no
conflict between my work and my life because my work is my life, and i have no
problem with that...this is not a complaint either, you know, the "oh, it's so
hard being famous blah blah blah" rant...actually, i like being famous, it a'int
such a bad gig...the conflict is the depth of the work and the exposure of the
man...those of you that know me know that i am passionate (it's the italian and
irish!)...however, the culture that we live in, i think it's safe to safe, is a
bit off course..and participating in that culture in some ways is like saying i
approve, which to be honest, i don't...i think it's sad how many are being hurt
by being sold a story that is a lie...so, i am gonna do my best from this point
out to forge my own way, a better way...i have fought like hell against "the
system", the system that breaks artists backs and rapes them of their blood and
chucks them out the door, all so maybe, just maybe, they get one of those vh-1
deals where everyone gets sentimental (and it was worth it-cue tears)...i
believe in artists to change the world, thank you for all you have given me,
thank you for the inspiration...thank you bob dylan and cheap trick and ozzy and
tony and picasso and hemingway and burroughs and kerouac and the who (i love you
pete) and al green and the temptations and supremes and the bee gees and richie
blackmore and jimi and robin trower and on and on...thank you for your courage
and sense of Self...anyway, i'm my own man, and i am much happier that way...no
more selling out on any level!!!!!! i will no longer fight against anything,
cause it's useless...i will now only fight FOR....so here is what i am willing
to fight and die for: Love and God and me and you...they are one and the same,
these things, and they are the only things that matter! amen :)
and one more
tangent please...a little while ago i lifted the cover off a few things, namely
former bandmates, some of which are doing a good job of proving to me i am wise
to stay away from them for good :) some of these comments that i have made in
the recent past have confused many, and opened the door for the shadow people to
come knocking...i want to say to you shadow people come into the light and be
seen!...God knows your story, your falsehood, your nagging fear...love will be
your death, the truth your hunter...i am not afraid to be seen...so let me say
one last thing to one person in particular, mr. james iha...and i hope the whole
world reads it with him: james, i love you...you will always be my brother, and
even though i have my issues with you, i love you very, very much...the depth of
my hurt is only matched by the depth of my gratitude...you will always be a
pumpkin, no matter whose band you play in...you did good, never forget the lives
that you changed and inspired and healed...that is your legacy, may it always
inspire you...love, bc until next time, au resevoir....
